There were many points over the course of these past three years that I thought we might never have this moment but we did! Finally! We got "the call"!
It was Thursday, September 17, 2009. I had been stalking Rumor Queen all week long for news on the upcoming shared list. I had heard the shared list had come out the night before but that there weren't many children on it so I begrudgingly resigned myself to the fact that we were going to have to wait at least another month. When the phone rang at 9:55 AM with one of our directors name on the caller ID, I immediately thought to myself 'Don't get excited. This isn't it. She just has a question.' I calmly answered the phone. We had the usual 'how are you's'. And then she calmly said "Listen I may have a potential referral for you." I listened somewhat in shock as she described our future daughter!
Moments earlier, before we had gotten "the call", I had called Dave at work to ask him something. Only I didn't call his direct line at his desk. I accidently called his cell phone. He answered in hurried hushed tones and reminded me that he was in a very important, all day, off-site, can't-be-interrupted, meeting for work. I felt bad and apologized. And when he hung up, he turned off the ringer on his cell, something he never ever does! But it was that kind of meeting and of course it makes for a more interesting story for our daughter to hear one day :)
So when I got "the call" I figured this was "an emergency" and one more call to Dave on his cell would be forgiven but his ringer was off. I tried emailing and texting him too but rightfully so he wasn't paying any attention to his phone. I left voice mails, emails and texts and then spent my time pouring through our daughters paperwork. In that time I was falling in love! All the while Dave was oblivious to the fact that he just got a new daughter!
Here is what her paperwork told me. Her name is Jiang Qin Dan and she is in the Dianjiang SWI in Chongqing Municipality. She was born on July 30, 2008. She was found when she was 1 day old and is currently 13 months old. She is described as extroverted with a ready smile. She is a deep sleeper and is fond of playing with toys. Her referral picture is adorable and there is something about her expression that reminds me so much of our second son Ryan when he was younger. And although I can't quite articulate it, there is something about her that feels so familiar. It's a wonderful feeling!
And finally sometime after lunch I got a text from Dave with one word written in it. "Awesome". LOL! Awesome to say the least! Poor guy did not have access to a computer all day. He raced home around 4 PM and made a bee-line straight to his lap top. When he was done reading her file (with me hovering behind him), he swiveled his chair around with a big smile on his face. I asked him what he thought and he said he thought we found our daughter! I said that is what I had been thinking all day! We called right then and accepted her file!
Stepping back and being completely honest, for as much as I wanted to get "the call", I know there was a part of me that was fearful of it too. I can be neurotic and a bit of an over-analyzer to the point of making myself crazy at times. I worried that we would get the call and then I would spend the next few months secretly terrified of what the future held for us. In fact, I pretty much prepared myself for months of varying degrees of uncertainty and inner turmoil. But this was no ordinary day and I can honestly and shockingly say that I not only had so much excitement in my heart but I had peace too. And the inner peace was truly the best part. I look at her referral photo and it all feels right. I feel so much love in my heart for her and Dave and I feel blessed beyond belief. After all the waiting, all the uncertainty, all the tears and then to hear my husband repeatedly say "I can't believe how lucky we are" over and over just fills my heart with peace.
